Insert to Alternia
by n1nj4k1tty'sdickinabox
Summary: this is my story about how I came into Alternia and met the troll of my dreams!
1. Prologue

A boy was sitting by his computer, anxiously talking to a friend. He had heard about a girl Roxy, Rose's ectobiologic relative, had seen in a dreambubble once. Roxy told Rose, Rose told Dave, and now the boy and Dave were talking about it. The conversation was going something like this.

DAVE: yo did you hear about the chick roses grandma slash sister thing

DAVE: whatever she is

DAVE: saw in that dreambubble

JOHN: yeah, i hear roxy thinks shes important in some way

DAVE: apparently roxy is going to try to bring her to alternia

John tensed up in his chair. To Alternia? With little to no experience or even knowledge about anything Alternian? he thought to himself.

JOHN: what?

JOHN: doesn't she know how dangerous that would be?

DAVE: i guess

DAVE: i dont think she really cares though

JOHN: do you even know how she could bring her here?

JOHN: i mean its a whole different planet

JOHN: alright pack up you're going to another planet

DAVE: i have no clue dude

DAVE: all i can say is i feel sorry for this chick yo

JOHN: yeah

DAVE: i gtg tz is pestering me

DAVE: later

JOHN: bye

John sat back in his chair. An earth girl. On Alternia. Where will she even go? What if whoever finds her doesn't like her? heh, Karkat… He didn't know any of those questions' answers. And I guess I'll have to wait and see.


	2. Chapter 1

- my POV -

I had just returned home from a harrowing day at work. I unlocked the door to my studio apartment overlooking the quiet city and set my stuff down by the door. I walked over to my couch and plopped down, letting out a long sigh. A few moments later I heard a noise from my computer. With a groan, I got up from my comfy spot on the couch and opened up my laptop to see a message from someone I didn't recognize. It was extremely hard to read, seeing as how it was 90% numbers.

?: H3Y YOU

?: 1'LL B3 S331NG YOU SOON

?: W3LL M4YB3 NOT S33

?: BUT 1'LL B3 M33T1NG YOU SOON

?: OK4Y? :]

Before I had the chance to reply, the mysterious person was gone. "Well...that was...strange…" I closed my laptop and walked over to the one wall of my apartment that was all window. It was dark, and even though the lights of the city were bright, I could still see a few twinkling stars in the midnight sky. Even though the view from here was beautiful, my life here wasn't as much so. My job was a dead-end one, and I had no friends at the college I was going to. Which was okay I guess, I'm only 19, I didn't need friends. I took another deep sigh and go into my bedroom. I opened a couple dresser drawers and pulled out my pajamas and quickly changed into them. I climbed into bed, looking at the time on the clock. It read in red analog numbers 11:37 pm. Ugh. _Don't I have class tomorrow? Whatever_. I closed my eyes and eventually drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 2

- my POV -

When I woke up, something felt off. I myself felt fine, but there was a small disturbance in the air that I couldn't place my finger on. I shrugged my shoulders and got up to go to the bathroom. When I returned, I saw something I didn't notice before. A ring. Was that there when I woke up, or did it literally just get there? Eh, hell if I know. I picked it up and examined it. It was small and gold, and had little grey beads on the outer part of it. It was somewhat pretty, and it looked like it was somehow just my size. I slipped it on my finger. "Hm, looks nic-"

before I could finish my sentence, everything around me turned bright white. After who knows how long, I wasn't sure if time was still a thing here, everything stopped moving. I was no longer in my apartment, but I was now standing in the middle of a purpley-blue and pink forest in my pajamas. "Great. What the _hell_ just happened?" I looked around. All I could see around me was tree after periwinkle and carnation hued tree. I didn't feel like standing there any longer, so I began to walk in a random direction. I took in the scenery around me. Sure, it was just trees and bright sunlight, but tell me, when was the last time you've seen purple and pink trees? The sun was bright, but it was also warm; something you couldn't feel back in the city because of all the buildings in the way. The grass below my slipper-clad feet was bright green and seemingly very soft._ Maybe this wouldn't be too bad after all. ...If only I knew where I was._ After a while longer, I saw a huge tree, bigger than all the others, with windows and lights on it. Off to the side was a big net with many multicolored dragon-looking dolls inside connected to a pulley with a platform at the top._ Hm, some treehouse_. I took a step forward, but the minute I did I saw a shape being hurtled out of a window on a string tied around it's neck in what looked like a noose. Before I could dodge it, it smacked me right in the face. I stumbled backwards, a little confused, then fell to the ground. "Owwww?" I said as I blacked out.

- Terezi's POV -

"H3H3H3, 4NOTH3R CR1M1N4L BROUGHT TO JUST1C3, S3RV3D 1C3 COLD L1K3 4LW4YS, 1SN'T TH4T R1GHT, S3N4TOR L3MONSNOUT?" I was about to walk away from the window when I caught hold of a strange scent. *SN1111111FF* I looked out the window and sniffed again. "OH D4MN."


	4. Chapter 3

- Terezi's POV -

I walked out of my hive to see, well not see, something rather unexpected; an unconscious human laying in my lawn. "UHH…" I prodded her gently with my foot a couple times and got no response. I couldn't just leave her there, so I lifted her up and over my shoulder, struggling, and wobbled over to the platform I used to get in and out of my respiteblock. When it sensed the motion of us getting onto it, the scalemate deadweight on the other side pulled itself down and carried us up to the entrance to my room. I sat her carefully against the wall on the floor and looked at her. She had Jade's glasses and buckteeth but she didn't have the black hair. She had Roxy's fair skin but didn't have the blonde hair, either. Actually, I didn't know what to make of the color other than the fact it smelled like honey, chocolate and strawberries combined. I wondered if I should do anything, but there really wasn't much I could do. I sat down at my computer and began to pester Roxy.

TEREZI: H3Y ROXY 1 H4V3 TH3 G1RL

ROXY: rly?

TEREZI: Y34H BUT SH3S OUT COLD R1GHT NOW

TEREZI: 1 TH1NK 1 H1T H3R W1TH 4 SC4L3M4T3

ROXY: ten points 4 gryffindor

TEREZI: WH4T :?

ROXY: nvm

ROXY: lemme know when shes awake

TEREZI: 4LR1GHT

TEREZI: SH3 SM3LLS N1C3

ROXY: i bet

ROXY: well i have voidey stuff 2 do

ROXY: ill ttyl

TEREZI: BY3

Terezi took a deep breath but stopped abruptly when she heard a noise behind her. "What...the hell?" it was the girl, she had woken up. "OH GOOD YOU'R3 4W4K3. W3LCOM3 TO 4LT3RN14."

"Uh...to where?"

"TO 4LT3RN14, S1LLY" gosh, didn't she know her 11 planets?

"TH1S 1S MY HOM3 PL4N3T, 4ND TH1S WHOL3 FOR3ST 1S M1N3. 1 TOLD YOU 1'D S33 YOU SOON."

"Oh...so you're the person who sent me those messages!"

"33YUP."

"Oh...so how did I get here?"

"TH4T 1'M 4CTU4LLY NOT SUR3 4BOUT, YOU'R3 GONN4 H4V3 TO CONSULT ROXY 4BOUT TH4T. 4LL 1 KNOW 1S TH4T 1T H4S SOM3TH1N' TO DO W1TH TH4T R1NG YOU H4V3."

The girl looked at her hand, then back to Terezi.

"So...who are you?"

"MY N4M3 1S T3R3Z1 PYROP3, BUT YOU C4N C4LL M3 TH3 PROS3CUTOR IF YOU W4NT, H3H3."

"Okay...Terezi...why was I sent here?"

"1 DUNNO TH4T 31TH3R. ROXY THOUGHT YOU W3R3 1MPORT4NT OR SOM3TH1NG SO SH3 BROUGHT YOU H3R3."

"Oh...okay..and why did I land specifically here?"

"1 DUNNO, 1 GU3SS ROX THOUGHT 1 WOULD B3 TH3 B3ST FOR YOU TO H4NDL3 OR WH4T3V3R."

"Alright…"

"SO WH4TS YOUR N4M3?"

"Oh...my name is Blaine."

"WOW TH4TS PR3TTY R4D"

The girl, Blaine, smiled a faint half smile.

"Thanks, tz. Can I call you that?"

"HMM...1TS K1ND4 C4TCHY...SUR3, 1LL 4CC3PT 1T. 1 GU3SS 4LL TH4TS L3FT TO DO NOW 1S T3LL 3V3RYON3 YOU'R3 4W4K3."

Blaine blinked, wide-eyed. "_Everyone_?"

"Y34H, MY FR13NDS, TH3YV3 4LL B33N W4NT1NG TO H34R FROM YOU."

Terezi went onto her computer and opened a memo.

TEREZI: SH3S 4W4K3

ROXY: rly? good good

DAVE: cool i'm surprised shes still alive

JOHN: tell her i said hello!

ERIDAN: oh wwoww i hope she likes me i cant wwait to meet her

SOLLUX: 2hut iit fii2hdiick, no one want2 two meet you

SOLLUX: but hey

FEFERI: -EEEEE how exciting! you're so lucky Terezi 38D

ARADIA: 0k

TAVROS: cOOL, i cANT WAIT TO MEET HER

NEPETA: :33 purrfect timing!

KANAYA: It Will Be A Pleasure Conversing With Her

EQUIUS: D→ Does she like hoofbeasts

VRISKA: gr8 news! and no one likes hoofbeasts as much as yoooooooou do, creep ::::)

EQUIUS: D→ You're probably right

KARKAT: WHOOPDEE FUCKING DO

GAMZEE: mIrAcLeS :o)

Blaine spoke up. "I don't like that Eridan guy."

"H3H3, 1T'S OK4Y" I replied. "NO ON3 DO3S."


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

-time skip two weeks—

-my POV—

"H3Y, BL41N3Y, 1 TH1NK 1TS T1M3 1 G1V3 YOU SOM3TH1NG" it was Terezi who was speaking. I was in my room, made for me by Gamzee, drawing on the wall with some chalk Terezi had lent me. "Okay!" I called back, and went into Terezi's room. She was standing there, obviously holding something behind her back. "OH! BL41N3Y! WH4T 4 LOV3LY SURPR1S3. WH4T COULD YOU POSS1BLY B3 DO1NG H3R3?" I had grown to love the nickname Terezi gave me, it made me feel extra close to her. "Oh, I dunno, I just thought I heard some troll say they had something for me." Terezi had a smile spreading across her lips. "PR3S3NT? WH4T PR3S3NT? TH3 PROS3CUTOR S33S NO PR3S3NT." I giggled. "Very funny, tz." She pulled her hands from behind her to reveal a laptop. She handed it to me. "1 S3NT SOLLUX TH3 CAPTCHA COD3 FOR MY L4PTOP, 4ND W1T H4 F3W G33K TW34KS, H3 4LCH4M1Z3D 4 COPY 4ND S3NT 1T TO M3." I took the technology from her hands and clutched it tightly. "You mean this, tz? This is mine?"

"YUP, 4LL YOURS. I'V3 4LR34DY PUT 3V3RYON3S CHUMP H4NDL3S 1NTO 1T, TOO, T3LL1NG YOU WH1CH 1S WHO." I held on to the computer for a few extra minutes before gently setting it down and giving Terezi a tight hug. "Thank you, tz."

"1…UH…NO PROBL3M?" I let go of her and picked up my gift again and went back into my room. I opened my new computer and looked at it. It used a different pesterchum theme than what I was used to; this one was all teal and looked like it was a perfect copy of her computer. I searched through the names until I found Roxy.

BLAINE: Am I speaking with Roxy

ROXY: yes u r is this girl

BLAINE: Uh...I suppose so

BLAINE: Are you the one who brought me here?

ROXY: yesirmam

BLAINE: That made no sense

BLAINE: Anyways

BLAINE: I wanted to ask you

BLAINE: Who out of all of you is best at advice?

ROXY: i think i'm p baller myself but if not me then probs kanaya

ROXY: shes kind of everyones mom

BLAINE: Kanaya. Alrighty, thanks

I closed that window and opened another one.

BLAINE: Is this Kanaya

KANAYA: Speaking, Yes

KANAYA: I Take It Terezi Provided You With A Computer Of Your Own

BLAINE: Yeah…about her

BLAINE: I think I kinda

BLAINE: Like her

KANAYA: In What Hue

BLAINE: What?

KANAYA: Which Quadrant Would You Place Your Affections

BLAINE: Uh…

KANAYA: Never Mind

KANAYA: What Is It You Humans Say

KANAYA: Like Like

BLAINE: Yes

BLAINE: I kinda like like tz

KANAYA: Alright

KANAYA: Your Point Being

BLAINE: Uh…I dunno, what should I do about it?

KANAYA: Tell Her

BLAINE: Hell no.

KANAYA: Why Not

BLAINE: I don't wanna seem weird

BLAINE: Plus I don't even know if I do or not

KANAYA: Then Wait

BLAINE: Wait.

KANAYA: Yes

BLAINE: Ok…

BLAINE: Thanks, Kanaya

KANAYA: Anytime

I closed the computer and pouted a bit, frustrated. I then brightened up a little. I know what I needed.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

-my POV—

When I went back into Terezi's room, I saw her on the floor, playing with her plush dolls. "Hey, tz?"

"WH4TS UP?'

"Where can I get a drink around here?"

Terezi looked up at me from what she was doing. She looked concerned at first, and then smiled. "1 KNOW 4 GUY."

She went over to her computer, and I took a seat next to her. _I'm kinda close to her…_I thought to myself. I snapped back into focus and looked at the screen.

TEREZI: G4MZ33, GOT 4NY F4YGO

GAMZEE: oF cOuRsE i Do

TEREZI: 4NY 3XTR4

GAMZEE: sUrE

TEREZI: COULD YOU T3LL 3QU1US TO BR1NG US SOM3

GAMZEE: sUrE tHiNg My RaDiCaL sIsTeR :o)

TEREZI: TH4NKS G4MZ

She closed the window. "DR1NKS 4R3 ON TH3 W4Y." I looked at her and smiled, even though she couldn't see it. "Are we gonna party, tz?"

"OF COURS3! GONN4 B3 ON3 R4D P4RTY."

A few moments later, we heard a loud thud from outside. "COM3 1N, 3QU1US." Terezi said calmly. In stumbled a guy with four 2-liter bottles of what looked to be multicolored soda under his arms, and he looked like he was carrying them extremely gently. Terezi walked over and took the bottles from his arms. By now, the guy was sweating quite profoundly. It was pretty gross, actually. _Nop nop nop. _Where have you heard that before? _Eh, I dunno. _It just felt like the right thing to say. "So this is the girl?" when he spoke, it was a deep, very mature sound. "YUP, TH4TS H3R." Wait; was that a faint smile on Terezi's face? I looked at the guy for another moment before nervously sticking out my hand. "Uh…hi...I'm Blaine" He didn't take my hand, but introduced himself anyways. "I am Equius Zahhak. Do you happen to like hoof-" in the middle of hiss sentence, Terezi put a hand over his mouth. "4LR1GHT TH4TS 3NOUGH NO ON3 N33DS TO H34R 4BOUT YOUR HOOFB34STS." He didn't say anything more until he turned to leave. "See you" he said, and then walked out of the door.

"4LR1GHT, BL4IN3Y, T1M3 TO P4RTY." I looked at her, blank-faced. "tz that's soda…"

"WH4T, TH1S? N4H, TH1S 1S MOR3 TH4N JUST SOD4." She walked over to the bottles she had just set down and handed me a blue one. "TRY 1T." I looked at her, skeptical, but the sincere smile on her face told me it wasn't half bad. I shrugged and opened the bottle. With a fizz, the cap came off and I took a swig. It was actually pretty good. I swallowed, and as soon as I did so I wanted to scream in pain. It made my throat burn a little, not like the burn you get from drinking something heavily carbonated like I'd expected, but more like the burn vodka gives you when it goes down your throat.  
"W3LL?"

I wanted to tell her no thanks, but I just couldn't.

"Let's get this party started!"


	7. Chapter 6

- my POV -

The next morning, I woke up with the worst headache I've probably ever had. "Ugggh...what happened?" When my eyes regained focus, I saw all four bottles of faygo on the ground, all of them empty. Holy hell, did we really drink that much? A little bit away from me I saw Terezi sprawled out on the floor, still asleep. She twitched occasionally. I tried to stand up, but I was so sluggish my muscles wouldn't allow me to stand, so instead I propped myself up on one elbow and waited for the room to stop spinning. I could clearly tell we were in Terezi's room by the abstract drawings on the walls, plus I could see the patchwork curtain hanging in the doorway. I probably shouldn't try to wake her up, but if she sleeps any longer, her headache will worsen. I scooted over to her slowly, so as not to make the room spin any more than it already has, and poked her side gently. "tz...it's time to wake up." I heard her grumble something inaudible and she rolled over onto her side, facing the opposite of me. I smirked a little and poked her again. "C'mon tz, get upppp." She rolled over onto her back. "WH4T 1F 1 DON'T W4NN4?"

"You don't have to then, just lay there all day, I'll have all the fun without you."

"BUT YOU'R3 MY P4RTN3R 1N CR1M3, YOU C4N'T H4V3 TH3 FUN W1THOUT TH3 JUDG3."

"Your...what?"

"MY P4RTN3R 1N CR1M3. JUST G1V3 M3 L1K3 4NOTH3R HOUR 1'LL B3 F1N3."

"Whatever you say, tz."

I got up and sort of wobbled to my room and sat back down. I reached for my computer, opened it, and clicked Kanaya.

BLAINE: Kanaya you there?

KANAYA: Yes, Is There A Problem

BLAINE: Okay I'm pretty sure I like tz

KANAYA: What Quadrant

BLAINE: What...okay what are these "quadrants"

KANAYA: Well

KANAYA: There Are Four Sects, Or Quadrants

KANAYA: One Is Red, One Is Pale, And Two Are Black

BLAINE: Alright..

KANAYA: The Pale Quadrant Is Friendship

KANAYA: Someone You Are Destined To Care For And Vice Versa

KANAYA: This Is Called A Moirail

KANAYA: The Red Is Most Similar To What Humans Call Love

KANAYA: It Is Called A Matesprit

KANAYA: The First Black Quadrant, The Caliginous One, Someone You Are Destined To Hate

KANAYA: And Vice Versa

KANAYA: It Is Called A Kismesis

KANAYA: And The Last Black Quadrant Is An Auspistice

KANAYA: It Involves What Humans Call A Moderator And Two Other People

BLAINE: That helps a lot

BLAINE: Thanks, bye

KANAYA: Wait You Haven't Answered My Question

I opened a new tab shortly after closing that one. I didn't really know what I was doing, all I could say is that I hope I'm not the only human who knows what Kanaya just said.

BLAINE: Roxy

BLAINE: I think you are my moirail

ROXY: wot

BLAINE: You know what I mean, right?

ROXY: yeah bffsies but why me

BLAINE: Because I already have someone in my red quadrant

ROXY: who is it omg

ROXY: blaine u better answer me

I closed my computer and rolled over onto my back and smiled to myself. A few minutes later, Terezi came in my room. "Hi tz what's-"

"OUT."

"What?"

"OUT, NOW. OUT OF MY H1V3."

"tz what are you-"

"NOW. G3T YOUR STUFF 4ND G3T OUT. 1 N33D T1M3."

"I...okay…" I picked up my laptop, and a few other trinkets I had gotten here and there, along with a scalemate plushie Terezi had made me. I gave her one last look, and she pointed at the door. I hung my head and walked out of the patchwork. I stepped onto the platform and slowly rode down to the ground. I took one more look at the treehouse, and started walking into the forest. Not long after entering the forest, I slumped down on the ground, letting my stuff fall around me. What did I do wrong? It took everything I had not to burst into tears, but I guess I couldn't help it, because I heard the patter of tears hitting the grass. I reached for my laptop and opened it. I clicked on Roxy.

BLAINE: Rox

BLAINE: I need help

ROXY: why wat happened

BLAINE: tz kicked me out : (

ROXY: omg noooo

BLAINE: Yeah

ROXY: u have the ring rite

I looked solemnly at my finger.

BLAINE: Yeah

ROXY: think of me n close ur eyes

BLAINE: Okay

Again, everything turned bright white, and soon I was standing in someone's bedroom. "Good, it worked."

I turned around to see Roxy standing there and gave her a hug, tears streaming down my face.

"It's okay, I think I know what we need to do." She said, patting my back.

"What?" I said, sputtering.

"I think I can bring you home. That ring can only be used by a god tier though, in which you are not. I think I can make you one, though."

I let go of Roxy. "How did it work just now?"

"I was using my copy. If we make you a god tier, I can send you home."

Home? I didn't want to go home. I wanted to go back to Terezi's. I wanted her to not be mad at me. I didn't want to leave.


	8. Chapter 7 - final chapter

- my POV -

"Okay...how would I become a god tier?"

I sniffled, trying my best to stop the waterfalls on my face.

"Well, usually, you'd have to go through a really long adventure killing bad guys and stuff, but I think I know a loophole."

I looked at her, puzzled. I sat down on her bed. "What is it?"

"Well, I can use my void powers to conjure up the sacrificial altar you would usually end on and bring it here, skipping the adventure."

My eyes widened. "Sacrificial...altar?"

"Eyup, you have to die to become a god tier. But don't worry, after you die you'll wake back up good as new, if not better. When you're a god tier you'll become the full owner of that ring."

"Right. So I have to what now?"

"Die, gurl."

"Okay…"

"So, this might take a few tries, but I got this." Roxy sat on the floor and closed her eyes and began to twiddle her fingers. After a few seconds, a green square popped between her hands.

"Ugh." I fell back on the bed.

- time skip probs an hour -

"Yo, Blaine, wake up. It's time to die."

I blinked awake, and looked at Roxy, then at the huge stone bed-looking thing in the middle of her room. "Uh…" it took me a minute to remember what was going on and where I was. "Oh...right." I climbed off of Roxy's bed and walked over to the altar that was now glowing.

"Just lay on it and go to sleep."

"But I just woke up-"

"Girl, truss me." Her words slurred a bit. _Had she been drinking? _

"Okay…" I climbed onto the altar. It was surprisingly comfortable, and I felt sleep tugging at me. I closed my eyes and drifted off into darkness. When I woke up, I was in a room that was entirely purple, and I had on the most ridiculous purple gown with a slightly less purple moon on the front of it. "What...is this?" But, shortly after, everything turned black again. "Hello?" It echoed but I got no response. Soon, I saw a small bright green light floating towards me. I reached out to touch it, and everything went black again, but soon turned to white. I woke up, finally, in Roxy's room. I sat up. She was smiling. "I see it worked."

"What do you me-" I looked down at myself. _Were these pajamas? _I was wearing a beige tunic with two green vines on it and brown leggings with blue boots.

"So, you're a life player. And judging by the hood, you're a thief. Welcome back into the world, Thief of Life." I got up off of the altar, which disappeared after I left it, and looked at Roxy. "So, the ring is mine now, and it can take me home?"

"Yes, and yes."

I gave Roxy a warm smile. "Thank you, Roxy." I gave her a big hug, and she hugged me back. "Nothing personal, but I have some matters to take care of. Thanks again, Roxy."

I let go of her and she nodded in understanding. I thought of where I wanted to be, and before I knew it, I was gone. I stood outside of Terezi's door. _Here I go. _"Terezi?" I called. I didn't hear a response. I stepped through the patchwork and saw her sitting on the floor, playing with a couple scalemates. "Terezi…I'm sorry for whatever it is I did, and I just wanted to tell you something. I'm a god tier now, and I have the power to go back home. So…I wanted to say goodbye before I left."

She stopped what she was doing.

"YOU'R3…L34V1NG?"

"I guess."

She got up and walked over to me.

"tz I'm sorry but I don't think I-" before I could finish my sentence, she was kissing me. I was alarmed at first, but then happy. I wrapped my arms around her waist, lingering for a bit. After a minute or two, we pulled away. "PL34S3 DON'T GO. YOU'R3 MY ONLY R34L FR13ND H3R3."

I looked at her, and I could've sworn I saw a tear run down her face.

"And leave my partner in crime? Now that doesn't sound very rad to me."

She smiled the biggest smile I had seen on her yet. "C'MON, W3 H4V3 SOM3 CR1M1N4LS TO PUT TO JUST1C3."

I laughed, one of the first good laughs I've had in a while. "In a sec, tz." I let go of her and walked to one of the back windows. I stood there for a minute, then removed the ring from my finger and hurtled it as hard as I could out of the window. I breathed a small sigh of relief. It felt like a small weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I walked back over to Terezi and took her hand. "You ready to right some criminal wrongs, partner?"

She grinned one of those devilish grins.

"R34DY."


End file.
